Something I didn't realize about becoming a mom was how it would instantly connect me to other moms raising babies, whether I know them or not. Calling it a sisterhood or a shared demographic doesn't adequately describe what I feel, it's a deep connection to other women who have the privilege of raising a child. In the early weeks of parenthood, I looked at moms with older kids and thought, "They made it, I think we will too." As our son has grown, the way I look at other moms has grown as well. I know the joy they describe in seeing their son or daughter smile at them, the constant questioning of whether your parenting decision is "right," and the highs and lows of having the best job in the world.
Hands down, motherhood is hard. Motherhood combined with being a refugee and having no where to call home is unimaginable. I came across an organization recently that is helping other moms in a region of the world that I've never visited, yet filled with moms who at their core are just like me. As I read their stories and saw their precious babies' faces, I knew I had to do something. These are moms and dads who are trying desperately to provide for their children's basic needs in dire circumstances.
A Carry the Future volunteer with a precious little refugee baby.
Carry the Future is a non-profit organization whose mission is to "secure a safe and brighter future for the most vulnerable among us...our children." Currently, Carry the Future is providing refugees (whether they be from Syria or another country) a safer means to travel with their children by gifting them with baby carriers. These are families, thousands of moms, dads, little boys, and little girls, who are living in tent cities, with nothing to call their own. Carry the Future doesn't turn down a parent in need. They have amazing volunteers on the ground in Greece who fit parents with these carriers and help meet basic needs.
So happy in her carrier!
Baby carriers. We use one that a friend loaned me almost every day, it's a basic baby item that is so very helpful. I can't imagine having to flee my home in a small boat and arrive at an unknown country soaking wet with my baby in my arms. Gifting these moms and dads with baby carriers is the least I can do, but it's something I can wrap my arms around. These are moms just like us, trying to do their best with little faces looking up at them, totally dependent on them to love, protect, and care for them.
I'm partnering with some other local women in Lexington and funds are actually available to have these carriers shipped to Greece, but we need carriers! Here are two ways you can help:
1. If you have a baby carrier you'd be willing to donate, please let me know (my email is mme_ky@yahoo.com). I'd be glad to pick it up and get it sent to those in need. The carriers most needed are the soft-structure ones with buckles that can hold up to a toddler weight-wise. (Ergo, Tula, BabyBjorn, Boba, Infantino ,and LILLEbaby are a few that work great and can accommodate a variety of ages). Money has already been donated to ship these to a distribution center, we just need carriers!
Carriers all packed up ready to be shipped to Greece.
2. If you don't have a baby carrier but would like to help, please visit this Amazon Wish List created by Rita, a Carry the Future volunteer who lives in Greece and is on the ground in Piraeus with the refugees every day. There are items in a variety of price ranges, and this is an easy and quick way to make a huge difference for these families.
Friends, family, and anyone reading this, we can do this! Please consider donating a baby carrier or purchasing an item on the Amazon wish list.
The picture below is Rita after fitting a mom with a baby carrier for her little one. I can't imagine being in this situation, but I'm thankful for people like Rita and organizations like Carry the Future who are bringing hope to these mamas and their babies. I take so much for granted as a mom, and there's something about caring for other moms and their babies that just makes sense. I hope someone would do the same for me if I was in this devastating situation. I cannot turn away and pretend this isn't happening, there is too much at stake, and these children's faces are so very precious to the heart of God. Thank you for caring for the least of these, you are more valuable than you know!
October 20, 2015 started out as a fairly ordinary day for us. I was 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant, which is the stage in pregnancy where you tend to wake up every morning wondering..."Is this the day?" Being a first-time Mom, I was pretty sure I would be going past my due date, so Chris and I went to our scheduled appointment at my midwife's office excited, but not expecting anything eventful.
My midwife, Alisha, was delivering a baby when our appointment time came, so another midwife, Laurie, saw us. After she checked me she said I was 2 cm dilated and 100% effaced and told us she was on call at the hospital the next night and may see us there. We kind of laughed, but I wasn't having any contractions or signs of labor and was planning on working a full day at BCTC before I officially began maternity leave. Chris was in his last semester at BCTC in the Architectural Technology Program, which happened to be housed on the same floor as my office...which would prove to be a blessing as the day's events unfolded.
We left our appointment at Baptist Health and drove over to BCTC, which is maybe a 3 minute drive. We quickly visited the cafe, I knew that I needed to eat something so I got a biscuit and a fruit punch, which is a decision I would later regret. ;) I went to my office and Chris went to class. As I began going through my to-do list at work and trying to get everything ready for my maternity leave, I did my usual morning routine and turned on Kentucky Sports Radio, which comes on every weekday from 10:00-12:00. This would serve as a time marker for me, because as I began listening to the show as I was working away I began to feel some mild cramping. Nothing major, but noticeable. My coworker Tonya, who is the mother of three, came up and we chatted for several minutes. As we were talking, I noticed that the cramping was getting worse and there was a definite starting and stopping point. It turns out these were contractions I was experiencing, and when I mentioned to Tonya what I was feeling she said I needed to leave. I assured her that they would calm down and I could stay for at least a few more hours. At that point, I needed to walk something down the hall and standing up took some effort and was a bit painful. The contractions were building in intensity, so I texted Chris "Come to my office ASAP" which I was sure he would see and immediately come.
The text I sent to Chris the day Reese was born.
Being the diligent student that he is, Chris was listening to a lecture and it took him a few minutes to see the text. By the time he saw it, he bolted out of his classroom and showed up at my desk with a look that can only be described as "deer in headlights." Looking back on it, it was a bit comical, but it took three of my female coworkers to help me leave the office as Chris ran to get the car. It hadn't been even two hours since I arrived at work, but at this point I knew that this was the real deal and I was in labor. Two of my coworkers, Vicki and Sarah, walked me out to the car where Chris had pulled up to my building, and I slowly inched my way down the sidewalk to the car. Once I said my goodbyes and got in the car, the pain was becoming pretty unbearable. I couldn't get comfortable in the car, and even the thought of the seat belt touching my stomach was uncomfortable, so I kind of slouched down in the car. I immediately became nauseated and got sick all over myself (the fruit punch was a bad choice) so I told Chris I wanted to go home quickly and take a warm bath. I did not want to go to the hospital in that condition. I had battled nausea throughout my pregnancy and threw up countless times, and I thought a warm bath would help my pain and make me feel better for what was in store that day.
We made it home, grabbed our already packed bags, and I took a quick bath. It did nothing for my pain, but I felt better changing my clothes and cleaning up a bit. The pain, however, was getting severe and I wasn't sure I could even walk back to our car to go to Baptist Health! Chris was awesome, running around grabbing last minute things. I told him to get my "pink dress" which was the most comfortable thing I could think of...and he went to my closet and couldn't find the pink dress (he's a bit colorblind), so I may have yelled at him in frustration as he kept bringing me what he thought was the pink dress but was clearly not the pink dress.
We made in to the hospital and at this point, I knew I'd have to be wheeled to the labor and delivery hall, because I was struggling. The contractions were coming strong and steady, with only a couple of minutes in between. In true movie fashion, Chris pulled up to the entrance they had told us to use, ran in, and yelled at the attendant, "My wife's in labor, I need a wheelchair," and they told us we could just leave our car there for the time being (thank you nice desk clerk, I think you've been through this scenario before). I slowly climbed onto the wheelchair, relieved that we made it but in the most pain I've ever experienced. There was another laboring Mom who was walking in at the same time, I gave her a look of solidarity that only we could share in that moment. P.S. I may have told the nurse at the desk that I needed an epidural "NOW" and she sweetly told me that it would be a few minutes but they would take care of that as soon as they could.
The verse outside our room at Baptist, so comforting.
We were shown to a room immediately and I changed into the hospital gown and tried my best to get in some sort of comfortable position, which was pretty much impossible. Chris alerted our family and some friends that we were in labor, and I answered some questions the nurses had and got all my hospital bracelets on. I was still contracting with probably two minutes in between, and I may have glared at the registration lady that came in and wanted me to sign some paperwork WHILE I was contracting. She kindly offered to wait a couple of minutes until it subsided...good plan. :)
The doctor came in to give me my epidural about an hour after I got there...I was so grateful to see him and the epidural process was fast and I don't remember feeling any discomfort. Within a matter of minutes, I felt SO MUCH BETTER. I was able to rest, see our parents who had arrived, and actually experience the overwhelming emotion that I was about to meet my baby boy, who I had prayed for and loved since we found out we were pregnant in February. The next few hours were serene, I was so glad to be feeling better, and the nurses assured me that I was progressing fine. I watched our son's heartbeat on the monitors, and I was able to chat with the nurses and Chris. It really was a surreal time, seeing nurses come in and out of my room bringing in things for the baby who we would meet shortly. I was so excited, but also had the normal nerves for everything unknown that I was about to experience.
After the epidural. There are no pictures from before...we were rather preoccupied.
Somewhere around 5:30 pm, the nurse checked me and asked me if I was ready to push. I assured her that I was, so they began the preparations for labor. I was fully dilated and the midwife who was on call, Tyler, came in and we chatted for a little while. Chris was on one side, our nurse Rachel, was on the other, and Teri and Tyler were guiding the pushing. They let me know when a contraction was happening and I would push as they counted down. They gave me a few seconds to breathe, and then I would push again. This was hard work...I wouldn't say it was painful, but there was lots of pressure, and I was pushing with everything I had. Chris and I laugh about one part of labor when one of the nurses put a cold compress on my forehead. Throughout my pregnancy, especially the first and second trimesters, I was sick...a lot. By default, Chris become a nurse and caretaker for me, and he also said he thought a cold compress on my forehead would make me feel better...but I always declined. So, we both laughed when the nurse placed one on me during labor and that time, it actually did help. After about an hour of pushing, I was pretty weak but was encouraged to give it all I had so we could meet our baby. At 6:29 pm on October 20, 2015, with a final push, our sweet baby boy came into the world. The first feeling I experienced was relief, followed quickly by a flood of love and emotion that washed over me. They put him on my chest and I just gazed at him...he was perfect, the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on...and he was mine. Our nurse, Rachel, was new to Labor and Delivery, told us afterwards that she cried too when he was born...so sweet.
Our nurses, Rachel and Teri, and the proud Mommy and Daddy with Reese.
There are no words to describe the love that I felt for this tiny little baby. After Chris cut the umbilical cord, he went with the nurses to the other side of the room as they cleaned the baby off, checked his vitals, and weighed him. He let out a good cry, and Chris cried with him too...we were so, so happy. Once they swaddled him and put a tiny little hat on his head, I got to hold our little boy and we named him. Chris and I had a few names that we liked, and said we would decide when he was born. We both agreed on Reese, and we wanted to use my maiden name, Evans, as the middle name. We gazed into the eyes of our firstborn, Reese Evans Pendleton, and were so grateful to God for this indescribable gift. He was perfect in every way. For the difficult pregnancy I had, the entire process of birthing Reese went so smoothly. From the first contraction to the time he was born it was a little over 8 hours, pretty amazing.
My two favorites.
The most beautiful little boy.
Reese weighed 8 lbs. 5 oz., and was 21 inches long. He had brown hair, his Daddy's nose, his Mommy's mouth, and was absolutely beautiful. He immediately began sucking on his fingers when he was born and he also nursed successfully. Chris texted our family the news, they had taken over the hospital waiting room and were rather eager to hear the big news. My Mom came back to see him first, and we had some sweet moments as we admired Baby Reese. The other visitors flooded in, and they all got to hold and cuddle Reese.
Our family and friends helped us gather everything and move to our postpartum room. By this point, they had taken Reese to the nursery for his first bath, and we wheeled by the nursery and the nurse held him up for me to see. I'll never forget the look on the nurse's face as she held up Reese for me to see, I was overwhelmed with emotion and was so proud to be this little boy's Mommy. My life had instantly changed for the better, and the gravity of my new role began to settle in. I was overjoyed, tired, and so happy.
A book we got for Reese says this on the cover, "Along came this little miracle and no day was ever ordinary again." Those words seem pretty fitting for October 20th, 2015. I entered the day as a woman late in her pregnancy, trying to finish up things at work and check things off the "ready" list, and by the end of the day I was a Mommy, with a fierce love and devotion to my new little baby boy. Chris and I got some rest that night and when he wasn't in the nursery, we cherished each moment with Reese, holding him, staring at him, and thanking God for blessing us with him. Our friend Jon was so gracious to record the sweet moments after Reese's birth. I cherish this video so much. Welcome to the world, little one.
The night of the Academy Awards in February was a night I will never forget. We had watched the awards with some friends and I came home earlier than Chris. On the way home, something prompted be to stop by and buy a pregnancy test, so I hit up CVS and nervously drove home. I was listening to Delilah on the radio (I'm a closet fan of her show) and the 80's song "Melt with You" came on the radio. It was the last song I heard before I knew I was pregnant. It was definitely an exciting moment to tell Chris the news after he finally made it home... :) I am now more than halfway through my pregnancy and we found out in May that we're having a baby boy!
Not sure about the expressions in this picture, but we are thrilled to be having a little boy!
The happy parents/grandparents, he will be the 1st grandchild on Chris' side & the 5th on my side.
How Far Along: 21 weeks Weight Gain/Loss: I've gained 8 lbs. Sleep: Sleeping well, just usually get up 3 times to use the restroom! Best Moment This Week: Reaching the halfway point in the pregnancy and seeing the 20 week ultrasound pictures, so precious! Movement: Haven't felt him move yet. Food Cravings/Aversions: I don't really have any cravings, though cold, icy drinks taste great. The list of aversions is more extensive: BBQ, guacamole, bacon/pork, pickles, onions...to name a few. Pregnancy Symptoms: After having a rough weeks 8-16, the nausea has calmed down though I still vomit occasionally and have some nausea. Other than that, just tired some and have to use the bathroom all the time. What I Miss: Won't be able to ride any roller coasters this summer. Stretch Marks: None. Belly Button: Normal. Wedding Rings: Still on. Mood: Good. Milestones: We had our gender reveal party with family and friends on May 15th. It was a really fun night and we were glad to celebrate with people we love. Here's a video of the announcement.
Upcoming Appointments/Events: We have our next appointment on July 6th and I am having a birthday on June 20th. I'll be 33, hard to believe! What I look forward to: Feeling him move and getting the nursery ready. Weekly Wisdom: I am so grateful that Baby P is healthy and that I am feeling better, trying to enjoy these moments and Chris and I are trying to be spontaneous while we can be. Last week on a whim we decided to go to the Bunbury Music Festival in Cincinnati. It was early afternoon on Friday when we decided to go and we left by 4:00 pm. We got to see two of Chris' favorite bands and then it poured rain as we were leaving. So, we got to walk across the bridge to Newport in a torrential downpour. It was definitely an adventure!
So I did my first blog entry over a year ago...and needless to say, it has taken a back seat. Life has happened, both the ups and the downs, but I thought I'd document one of the highlights of our year so far. Chris and I bought our first home on April 1st, Happy April Fool's Day to us! It's a ranch home that was built in 1960 with plenty of space in an older, quiet neighborhood in Lexington. It really was a gift from Jesus and we are grateful to him for providing for us.
One thing we liked about the house was that it had character, but it was also pretty much a blank slate. I understand that when people put their house on the market, they often paint it a neutral color in order for it to sell. For some reason, the "neutral" that the previous owners chose is more of a peach.
It didn't really stand out to me when looking at the home, but when we moved in and there were bare walls everywhere Valspar's shade "Bread Basket" became nauseating.
One of our favorite features about the home was/is the huge living room. The idea of having a large space where we could host LifeGroup, friends, and family was appealing, and we liked the idea of having a large, open kitchen/dining room/living room even if it meant smaller bedrooms because that's where we would be spending the majority of our time. This is an iPhone picture I randomly took at LifeGroup, and it will have to serve as my "before" photo for our living room makeover because I didn't start taking pictures of the project until we started (rookie mistake).
We knew we wanted to add some updates to the home, but had a pretty tight budget which means doing the work ourselves and doing it the most economical way possible. I had the idea that we would add paneling to the bottom part of the living room walls to give the room some texture/interest and also tie the whole room together. We debated on whether we would paint the paneling white and paint the top part of the room a color or vice versa, but decided on white paneling with an accent color above. Our first step was to tape off the bottom section of the wall and paint it white.
We then had to choose what color the top part of the walls would be. We had three colors mixed as samples.
The winner was Retro Colonial Blue, which I think is the color on the far left.
We purchased several pieces of MDF and had a guy at Lowe's cut the pieces into the exact width we wanted. Chris did a great drawing of how the pattern of paneling would look, and he basically took it from there. He did have to cut the pieces length-wise several times during the process, but the width was consistent.
I was assigned the task of painting the MDF white, which resulted in me borrowing the patio furniture in order to support the boards, and also accidentally getting drops of white paint all over the patio furniture. Glad it's inexpensive!
We were both kind of nervous when we starting attaching the boards to the wall with a nail gun, what if it looked terrible? It was pretty exciting seeing the vision become a reality. As Chris would attest, this project is not for the faint of heart. Lots of measuring, cutting, and nailing.
After securing the boards, they looked like this. The boards would still need to be painted again and the cracks filled in with caulk
for a smoother and brighter finish.
This
was a progress picture before we added the trim to the top of the
paneling.
And..here's the final reveal. I have to brag on my husband because he did an amazing job and we both love how it turned out.
Today, Chris and I celebrate our one year anniversary! July 20, 2012 was a day that I looked forward to for a long time, even before I had even met Chris or knew if this day would come.
My prayer was to soak in every precious moment of our wedding day, and I remember almost everything about the day. Even the "unplanned" moments (a weather forecast that predicted rain for our outdoor ceremony, a groomsman splitting his pants, and various wedding details looking differently than I thought), turned into moments that we laughed about, knowing that at the end of the day, we would be married! ;) I was so excited about marrying Chris, a guy who honestly caught me off guard (in a good way) when we first became friends!
Chris and I have such a unique story of meeting each other, the events leading up to our first date, and how we fell in love. We still look at each other every now and then and laugh about the early days, how we spent years as acquaintances and had no idea that one day we would be best friends getting married!
Our wedding day was filled with all the things we love: Jesus, community, good music, authenticity, celebration, laughter, and joy! Our family and friends loved us so well and sacrificed in helping us get ready for not only the wedding, but our marriage. We could not have walked this road without our parents, pastors, siblings, friends, lifegroup leaders, bridesmaids, and groomsmen.
Chris chose 1 Corinthians 13 to be read at our wedding. These words mean even more to me now than they did on our wedding day - words that are as humbling as they are challenging, and ones that I pray mark the way we love each other and other people:
Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
It does not demand its own way.
It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
Three things will last forever - faith, hope, and love - and the greatest of these is love.
We were told in premarital counseling that marriage is a magnifying glass - it only enhances what is true about you before you get married. One year later, I can say that was solid advice. My strengths have grown over this year and my weaknesses have been exposed. We are very much at the beginning of our lives together, but I am so grateful for the gift that marriage has been. Chris, thanks for a year of laughing, inside jokes, learning, listening, humility, and adventure, I love you to the moon and back!
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